humility lessons

I’m fasting. But then again our whole church body is. So what is the big deal when people tell me I’m all hard core because of the fast that God impressed upon my heart. I’m not being strict because I want to be (I miss bread!) but because a fast must cost me something. If its easy its not a true fast, or so I’ve been taught & believe. Am I being too legalistic about this?

I’m fasting the things that steal my heart and time from Him. And yet I’m find myself filling that time with other things rather than spending time with my Father. Why? What is it in me that is pushing Him away? Why can’t I learn to quiet my heart and be laid bare before I God? My hands so readily gravitate toward the novel or DVD on my bedside instead of the Word that is right next to them… My flesh is too strong, it MUST come into submission.

I want to be led by the Spirit, not by my desires (or stomach). Too many of my resources go to these other pursuits when I could be using them to further adoptions, missions, or other things that are Kingdom advancing. But is God really calling me to be an ascetic or is it to realize that every choice is one I need to put before Him – missions or movie? adoption or a novel? a latte or a larger offering?

I see that I am a statistic. I am part of the American Christian culture that professes that God is living in me, yet I act as though I am in control and not Him. I believe in God, but too often I do not depend on Him. This is what I mean when I say “I don’t like myself in the States.” I’ve found that when He puts me into another place in the world, depending on Him to provide for my every need, when my very existence is all in Him, my faith grows and my relationship with my Father is so much closer. But why is that true there and not here? Is it really so different? Does my existence here not depend on Him? Is God not the true supplier of all my resources no matter where I am?

That I would have resolved in my heart that no matter where I am, that He is all, and that is enough. MoreΒ than enough. Because if He isn’t, what’s the point?

One response to “humility lessons

  1. I totally understand what you are talking about.You have to remember that the discipline of fasting… well, actually, the discipline of anything is almost foreign to Americans. I do not think you are being too legalistic.Choosing to change, to make the same sacrifices as if one was in a relationship with another person, being there instead of the normal things of life. With all the distractions around, it is very hard to keep in mind something (someone) we do not see.Putting distractions away – in a box, given to others, may be the best start. I know there is too much stuff in my house, and it takes too much of my time and attention.The major thing that we need to focus on is our relationship with God. Then it will be so much easier to do the things that will make a difference for Him.Be careful not to just do things that are "Kingdom advancing" without spending time building your faith. That is, getting to know who God is, so you will know you can trust Him. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.I am "preaching" to myself too. πŸ™‚

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