to boldly go…

scrabble tile wordsI love words.  I like to make them dance to my own tune – to use them like a painter uses colors and shapes to evoke an emotion and response.  So, when God drops a particular phrase in my heart, I like to turn it over and around in my mind like a sommelier does with a new wine.  My current phrase of choice? “Bold intimacy”

I like it because its almost an oxymoron.  How can something bold still hold the quietness of intimacy? Usually we associate boldness with being arrogant and brash, not the sweet stillness of close relationships.  Yet it works, because God calls us to be bold enough to demand intimacy with Him. We were made for intimacy with God. It is His desire to be in relationship with us. Yet, that intimacy takes bold faith on our part.

I recently read the episode in Exodus of Moses deciding to pursue God even when everyone else decided to remain behind.  God wanted the same relationship with all of the people, but only Moses was willing to be bold enough to approach the darkness of the cloud, to push through what could be scary in order to gain what he knew God desired for him.  Just one thing separated him from the crowd. The opportunity to be with God propelled him forward whilst everyone else stayed back. Moses was so desperate for God, that he refused to allow the fear of the situation to keep him from God’s presence.

Yet so many of us, myself totally included, struggle to accept that God desires intimacy with us.  We act like the Israelites and prefer to have someone else hear from God for us.  Why? What is it that we’re so afraid of?  My opinion is that we’re afraid of a love that demands nothing and everything from us at the same time.  We have been so let down by the world around us in our pasts that we can’t believe that God is different from that.  We forget that God speaks our individual love language to each one of us – whether it be time, touch, gifts, service, or words.  And the few times we hear & accept that love, we get overwhelmed by it and it scares us; which it should, because it demands a response.  And we don’t know how to love unconditionally, or how to accept it.

Yet, if we are willing to push past the awkwardness, we’ll get to see His glory and learn how to both receive and give His kind of unconditional love. Now, isn’t that worth it?

this heart is for you


my moment

rain on leavesIts quiet this afternoon.  I’m enjoying the silence after several days filled with guests coming and going.  As I sit at my desk watching the rain fall all I can hear is the patter of the drops on the walkway and window awnings.

The cool air and overcast sky invite an introspective mood, and I remember that this too is a holy moment, that sacred slice when we remember who He is and revel in it. A few seconds to stop and ponder and wonder until it becomes worship.

In John, we are told that a time is coming, and the time is now when the true worshippers will worship Him in spirit and in truth. The time is now.  Not tomorrow, not when I feel like it, not just on Sunday mornings… now.

And to be able to worship Him now in spirit and in truth, means I must be honest about my now ~ the joys, sorrows, pains, and praise.  He knows me and what I’m going through, not one part of it is a surprise to Him.

Through it all, because of who He is, He is worthy of my worship.

“God, if Thou dost never answer another prayer while I live on this earth, I will still worship Thee as long as I live and in the ages to come for what Thou hast done already. ” ~ A. W. Tozer Worship: The Missing Jewel